8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may work through me. 10 Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weaknesses and with insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12: 8- 10
Yesterday I woke up and decided I would throw myself a party. It wasn’t any ol’ party where invitations would be sent or food would be provided. No, it was a simple party for one, and it was all about me!
Yesterday it took me nearly two hours to get out of bed, and once I did I took a walk in my garden. I love my garden. It’s a quiet place of tranquility and life, and each day I usually find contentment there, but yesterday I found nothing but pity. For the past week I haven’t been feeling well, and yesterday when I awoke I realized that during the past 25 years of my life I’ve been able to count on my fingers the days that God has graced me with a body that worked. Yesterday I hit my “pity me” day and I don’t believe I’ve ever had a day like that.
Instead of going in my garden, watering and picking the harvest I went into my garden and was “mad” at God. I even noticed that my garden needed watering and I chose not to water it. I was so angry that I felt that the plants didn’t deserve to be watered if I didn’t deserve a body that never works right. A friend even called me who has been healthy her whole life and because I was angry I chose not to answer her call. I wanted nothing to do with “happy, healthy” people yesterday.
Then last night I walked into my office. I haven’t looked at a computer in over a week and thought that maybe the bright light of the monitor and the sound of my keyboard would bring inspiration to my heart, and when that didn’t happen I didn’t know what to do so I stood up, and with tears in my eyes, I looked up to heaven and asked, “WHY? WHY IS EVERY DAY SO PAINFUL?”
It was at that moment when I looked down and noticed my Bible was open to 2 Corinthians and without being able to read through my tears my heart heard God say, “So, Gina. You think you’re the only one who wakes up in pain? Do you honestly believe that life is only about feeling well? Have you ever thought that because of the adversities within your life, is why you believe what is written in the Bible?
And also… look what happened during the past weeks. I gave you what you asked for, and you became so busy that you had no time for me. You used to write your appointments with me each day because it was through those appointments where you remembered why I allow suffering. It was during those moments when the pain was so unbearable that you would get out of bed, open your Bible and the two of us would communicate, but when I give you more good days than bad you want to do so much that you forget about ‘our’ appointments!”
This morning I came into my office and read through 2 Corinthians 12, and I have to agree with Paul… 10 Since I know it is all for Christ’s good, I am quite content with my weakness…
Now, I get the pleasure of another day… my plants are watered and I had a wonderful chat with the friend I wouldn’t talk to yesterday. The greatest test of my heart was when she was able to share how God has blessed her with good health and I was truly happy for her. I also thanked her for sharing how blessed she was because the moment I became happy for her, was the moment I smiled, and when one is smiling… whether in sickness or in health, it’s hard to stay angry.
So, today if anyone happens to read my tiny appointment with God and you also are going through an adversity that God won’t take away, my prayer is that you take a moment and throw yourself a pity me party, and once the party is over start celebrating what God would never take away…
“My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness.”
ONWARD WITH FAVOR!