Last night I was working on my Christmas cards, when I ran out. I remembered that I had a surplus of cards, but couldn’t remember where I put them so I went on a scavenger hunt. It always amazes me how whenever I go looking for one thing, I find another.

Opening a drawer I happened to find a file that read: Disperse upon my death. I immediately opened it and smiled when I saw what it was.  Over a decade ago, I had to have surgery and wasn’t sure what the outcome would be, so the week before my surgery I sat down and wrote individual letters to all of those I loved. When the letters were complete I showed them to my children and said, “In the event that something happens to me, will you please make sure that you give these letters to the person whose name is written on the envelope.”

Last night I sat down at my desk and began looking through the names, and what I found was very sad.  I realized that half of the addressed letters belonged to those I loved who are no longer alive today. One of them was my dear friend Bob. Bob and I had met when my son, Glenn, was five. My son wanted to join 4-H and Bob was the Community 4-H Leader. The moment Bob and I met, we became forever friends, and when Bob stepped down from being the 4-H Leader he left the club to me, and I ran it for the following nine years.

When I opened his envelope I began reading and realized that I said all the things that I wanted to say to him on paper, but neglected to say it to him in person. He was so instrumental in helping my children become the adults that they are today. Now, I know that he knew how much I loved him, but there is a part of me that is sad that I took the time to write the letters, but didn’t send them. Two years ago I received a phone call that Bob had passed.  This letter no longer needed to be sent.

I ended up reading through each of the letters and with each person I was reminded of how fragile life is and how quickly it changes. One of the letters I wrote was to my best friend, Lisa, and her family. I wrote how much I loved her children, and thanked her for allowing me to spend so much time with them. Lisa had three children, and her children were like my 2nd set of children. Five years ago,  Lisa lost two of her children in a car accident.

Then I found one that I had written to my mother, and as I was reading it I realized that not all relationships end in death, but end because people aren’t perfect. This letter I’m going to send out today.

I know it’s been said that it’s never too late to do something, but that only applies to the words, “some” “thing” because ultimately not “everything” in life is a do-over!

For some reason seeing the names of actual people who truly existed within the world was very profound for me. I realized that is why the Bible states… And anyone not found written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire… Revelation 20:15

Because the only way a person’s name can get placed on the envelope of a personal letter, is we must know the person that we are sending the letter to.



1 Comment

Filed under Faith


  1. Dr Gary M Stuhlmiller


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